When most women of today decide that they want to have a child, at least in my experience, almost the first thing you hear is, “Bring on the drugs!” It’s like it’s the most natural thing in the world to have an epidural and not be able to feel the pain of your child coming into the world. Ever since I really decided to have a baby the idea of being drugged up just scares me.
Let me preface this by saying – I know you all think I’m a wimp. And sure, maybe I was as a child, but the older I’ve gotten the tougher I’ve become both mentally and physically. It’s been a long progression and maybe not always a great one, but somehow I believe it was to lead me to this point. Hell, I have eleven tattoos; surely I can handle almost anything, right? I chose to endure that pain for a beautiful result, and while childbirth is no doubt that pain times one hundred, it’s also for a beautiful result.
Making the decision to have a natural childbirth was, like most things in my life this year, not really a decision at all. I’m not quite sure when it first began, but I do know that reading Pacing the Panic Room helped to solidify the decision, as well as lead me to a multitude of great resources. Brent is firmly against a home birth at this point, and I don’t have my mind really made up, but I’m hoping that watching The Business of Being Born will help us both.
What I do know for certain is that I don’t want an epidural or a hospital for that matter unless medically necessary. After my recent experience with the OB, I think that I would feel much more comfortable with a Certified Nurse Midwife. I want to be able to labor at my pace, in a calm and comfortable environment when the baby is ready and not be induced because my doctor has a golf game at 11am. I don’t want to be hooked up to IVs and have a monitor screwed into my child’s head in utero.
Crazy? Maybe to some. But a growing number of women are going back to the way God intended it. Natural. So that’s my goal. It won’t be an easy journey, this much I know for sure, but I am so very confident in my choice and know that it will be what’s best for my baby. Fortunately there are so many resources available in my area, and I’ve already scoped out a birthing center near my home.
For me this year has been about the happiest time of my life, learning and trusting and coming to terms with a faith I don’t really think I ever possessed before. God will only give me as much as I can handle, so I will leave it up to Him. Maybe that’s why we’re not pregnant yet. There’s been so much going on that we really haven’t had the time – at least that’s what I’m telling myself.
We’re ready now, God. Ready when you are.