Twenty-six years ago today, I was blessed with the most awesome parents and family a gal could ask for. In my unbiased opinion, I feel that I’ve lived a pretty amazing life thus far and there is not much more I could ask for. Being as I was the only child for my parents, it’s obvious that I was spoiled – not so much with “things” as with love, because that’s all they had. Times were tough when I was growing up but I was none the wiser, for I had two extremely dedicated parents along with two wonderful stepparents and a slew of grandparents that made sure I knew how great I was.
To this day, my family still makes me feel special on my birthday. It’s not as big a deal as it is when you turn, say, 13, but it’s still nice to know that your family and friends are thinking of you on your day. When I was younger, my mom used to come and wake me up at 2:51am (that’s what time I was born) and sometimes my grandmother and dad would even call me that early. I cherished it. This morning waking up was different, though, because I didn’t feel any older or that any miraculous changes had occurred overnight. My husband by my side and my son in his room, life is pretty grand. I can’t wait for the mornings when we have a slew of kiddos running around the house, jumping on the bed singing, “Happy birthday, Mama!” while my husband is making me breakfast in bed. (Okay, that last part is a stretch!)
Twenty-five was a really BIG year for me, in a lot of respects. Brent and I officially moved in together. Then we got engaged. Then we celebrated our first Christmas as a family, our first Christmas when LB will likely remember Santa. We got married. My headaches got worse. I was diagnosed with IH. I had major brain surgery, and then two more revisions. We realized we were struggling with infertility. LB had eye surgery again. But throughout all of it we made it, and that is what is most important. We have grown and learned so much during this past year that I can’t help but be anything but grateful for this blessed life I’m living.
Today, I turned twenty-six years old. My great-grandmother had my grandmother at 25; my grandmother had my mom at 25 and my mom had me at 25. For as long as I can remember, I was “supposed” to have my first child at 25, too. Obviously that didn’t happen, and before I met Brent I was okay with that – there was no rush! It’s not until you want to have that child that you feel the rush. I feel like I missed the mark. Like I let down the tradition. In a way, I did “have” LB when I was 25, so I guess that is the balance. There’s always got to be balance, right?
So maybe 26 will be my year. It can only get bigger and better from here. :-) A huge thank you to all of my sweet friends and family who have taken time out of their day today to wish me a happy birthday. I sincerely appreciate each and every one of you.
Love, KC
Showing posts with label LB. Show all posts
Showing posts with label LB. Show all posts
Sep 2, 2010
Jul 1, 2010
Brain Surgery, Part III
It’s all over, finally. At least I hope it is. Two days ago I had my third and final surgery for the VP shunt, the second revision in 10 weeks. Of all three surgeries this was by far the easiest, but I just feel beat up and tired.
When I went in for my pre-admit Tuesday morning, my oxygen levels were at 94% just as Dr. Taylor said they would be; so long as I had that catheter behind my lung I would never get above 95%. Brent and I settled in and just relaxed while I waited for my turn in the operating room, it was just the two of us and I enjoyed it that way. He had to go to work while I was in surgery but I knew he’d be back when I got out and it relieved me of the obligations of having to entertain anyone but myself when it was over.
My favorite anesthesiologist Dr. Flewellen was back this time and he was just the sweetest thing. Once he got my IV going we headed back to the OR. That is probably one of the longest rides, from pre-op to the trauma hall. It was a dreary and rainy morning but that operating room was still bright and cheery with him there. I’ve become way too familiar with the surroundings of that room and I almost wish I could wear my glasses in so that I could see better, see all of the high-tech equipment they use and not just the shadows. Dr. Flewellen wasn’t pleased with how my IV was going so he promised that once I was out he would move it so that I wouldn’t be in any discomfort. He gave me oxygen and the nastiest laughing gas and it took me a while to finally fall asleep.
When I woke up from surgery I was sore but not in pain. I could breathe! My oxygen levels were back to 100% as soon as I woke up. All I wanted was water and my glasses but couldn’t have either. The entire surgery took just about an hour and I was up and alert within half an hour of arriving in recovery. They allowed me to call Brent and tell him I was fine, and that I wanted a large sweet tea and my glasses as soon as he could get there. Apparently I mis-communicated to the nurses and they never called him to come, so when I arrived in my room a little after noon I was all alone. Thankfully I knew his work number so I called him then and decided to take a nap with my friend Morphine until Brent arrived a couple hours later.
Every hour I was up. There was no rest for the weary! The new catheter is placed down low in my pelvis, behind my bladder – which means that all that excess spinal fluid is gathering and putting pressure down there. It felt like a strange combination of menstrual cramps and a bladder infection. I can only imagine what will happen when I get pregnant; I can see myself having to pee every five minutes at this rate! Time passed slowly while I read a book, watched some television and played on the computer. My dear friend Rosie came and saw me for a couple of hours which really just made my night. I miss her!
It wasn’t until 3:30am Wednesday morning that I finally fell asleep. I suppose all the painkillers had the opposite effect on me that I wanted them to. And of course, an hour later I need blood drawn and vitals taken so I was awake until 5:15am that time. All I really wanted was to come home and rest in my own bed. Dr. Taylor and Dr. Coimbra said I did amazing and agreed I could go home so I left there at noon. Brent and I came home and enjoyed a Pirates of the Caribbean marathon and I slept like a rock. However the longer the night progressed, the more discomfort I found myself in so ice packs became my new best friend.
It has now been just over 48 hours since my surgery and I feel a lot better. Something interesting I learned while there: I bring a new meaning to “sleeping like death”, because when I’m asleep my heart rate is around 28 beats per minute. It also makes my blood pressure extremely low to the point that I scare the techs and they feel the necessity to call in the nurse. This has happened all three times I’ve had surgery now and I keep telling them it’s normal. It also seems to explain my craving for salt; my blood pressure drops and the salt helps it rise, so despite the fact that I eat way too much salt for a normal person my blood pressure stays around 112/65 when I’m active. Also, I am borderline hypoglycemic so if I haven’t eaten and am active, I shake like a leaf until I get some food. All things I knew but I find it funny to freak out the nursing staff.
Over the next few days I plan on staying in bed, reading a few good books and wasting my time on the internet. I do have grand ambitions for next week though, including making an apron, pies and spending time with my main little man LB who will be back on Monday. I’ve fancied including spots in this blog for the things I love like cooking, so maybe I’ll work on that. Dr. Taylor warned me to take it easy, as he wouldn’t have the time to see me this weekend as he was going to the fixing the idiots who mishandled fireworks (sounds just like a trauma surgeon, huh?)
To my dear friends who offered their prayers for my niece: she was buried today at 10am surrounded by hundreds of family and friends. I wish I could have attended but it would have been too stressful on my body. My memories with her will always be cherished even though they are few. My family and I appreciate all of your kind words.
Sorry for the ramblings; you can blame the Darvocet.
Love, KC
When I went in for my pre-admit Tuesday morning, my oxygen levels were at 94% just as Dr. Taylor said they would be; so long as I had that catheter behind my lung I would never get above 95%. Brent and I settled in and just relaxed while I waited for my turn in the operating room, it was just the two of us and I enjoyed it that way. He had to go to work while I was in surgery but I knew he’d be back when I got out and it relieved me of the obligations of having to entertain anyone but myself when it was over.
My favorite anesthesiologist Dr. Flewellen was back this time and he was just the sweetest thing. Once he got my IV going we headed back to the OR. That is probably one of the longest rides, from pre-op to the trauma hall. It was a dreary and rainy morning but that operating room was still bright and cheery with him there. I’ve become way too familiar with the surroundings of that room and I almost wish I could wear my glasses in so that I could see better, see all of the high-tech equipment they use and not just the shadows. Dr. Flewellen wasn’t pleased with how my IV was going so he promised that once I was out he would move it so that I wouldn’t be in any discomfort. He gave me oxygen and the nastiest laughing gas and it took me a while to finally fall asleep.
When I woke up from surgery I was sore but not in pain. I could breathe! My oxygen levels were back to 100% as soon as I woke up. All I wanted was water and my glasses but couldn’t have either. The entire surgery took just about an hour and I was up and alert within half an hour of arriving in recovery. They allowed me to call Brent and tell him I was fine, and that I wanted a large sweet tea and my glasses as soon as he could get there. Apparently I mis-communicated to the nurses and they never called him to come, so when I arrived in my room a little after noon I was all alone. Thankfully I knew his work number so I called him then and decided to take a nap with my friend Morphine until Brent arrived a couple hours later.
Every hour I was up. There was no rest for the weary! The new catheter is placed down low in my pelvis, behind my bladder – which means that all that excess spinal fluid is gathering and putting pressure down there. It felt like a strange combination of menstrual cramps and a bladder infection. I can only imagine what will happen when I get pregnant; I can see myself having to pee every five minutes at this rate! Time passed slowly while I read a book, watched some television and played on the computer. My dear friend Rosie came and saw me for a couple of hours which really just made my night. I miss her!
It wasn’t until 3:30am Wednesday morning that I finally fell asleep. I suppose all the painkillers had the opposite effect on me that I wanted them to. And of course, an hour later I need blood drawn and vitals taken so I was awake until 5:15am that time. All I really wanted was to come home and rest in my own bed. Dr. Taylor and Dr. Coimbra said I did amazing and agreed I could go home so I left there at noon. Brent and I came home and enjoyed a Pirates of the Caribbean marathon and I slept like a rock. However the longer the night progressed, the more discomfort I found myself in so ice packs became my new best friend.
It has now been just over 48 hours since my surgery and I feel a lot better. Something interesting I learned while there: I bring a new meaning to “sleeping like death”, because when I’m asleep my heart rate is around 28 beats per minute. It also makes my blood pressure extremely low to the point that I scare the techs and they feel the necessity to call in the nurse. This has happened all three times I’ve had surgery now and I keep telling them it’s normal. It also seems to explain my craving for salt; my blood pressure drops and the salt helps it rise, so despite the fact that I eat way too much salt for a normal person my blood pressure stays around 112/65 when I’m active. Also, I am borderline hypoglycemic so if I haven’t eaten and am active, I shake like a leaf until I get some food. All things I knew but I find it funny to freak out the nursing staff.
Over the next few days I plan on staying in bed, reading a few good books and wasting my time on the internet. I do have grand ambitions for next week though, including making an apron, pies and spending time with my main little man LB who will be back on Monday. I’ve fancied including spots in this blog for the things I love like cooking, so maybe I’ll work on that. Dr. Taylor warned me to take it easy, as he wouldn’t have the time to see me this weekend as he was going to the fixing the idiots who mishandled fireworks (sounds just like a trauma surgeon, huh?)
To my dear friends who offered their prayers for my niece: she was buried today at 10am surrounded by hundreds of family and friends. I wish I could have attended but it would have been too stressful on my body. My memories with her will always be cherished even though they are few. My family and I appreciate all of your kind words.
Sorry for the ramblings; you can blame the Darvocet.
Love, KC
Apr 15, 2010
The Eyes Have It
Yesterday I meet with my neuro-ophthalmologist, Dr. Harrington, to follow up from my recent OCT & VER tests. I was very anxious leading up to the visit because I knew that I had problems with my eyesight and I was in fear of needing the optic nerve sheath fenestration – where they cut a slit in your optic nerve to allow the pressure to drain out behind your eye. However when I got there he actually had good news!
He confirmed that I have bilateral papilledema – which is swelling of the optic nerves in both eyes. That being said, he said that he didn’t want to go forth with the ONSF surgery unless my neurosurgeon thought it necessary. You see, the ONSF has a 50/50 success rate and for some people it helps – but for some it does nothing. In Dr. Harrington’s opinion, if Dr. Coimbra deems it necessary for a shunt (which he believes he will) then the shunt will fix the papilledema and there’s no need for two procedures. Can you say YAY!?
So tomorrow I meet with my neurosurgeon, Dr. Coimbra at 10am. Hopefully this will be one of the last appointments I have to endure for a good while. I’m still having daily headaches and my vision seems to be getting worse, if that’s possible.
On a better note, this past Monday was my husband’s 26th birthday and we celebrated by spending the day at the Fort Worth Zoo. Last year we took LB for his 2nd birthday and it was amazing to us to see how much he’s changed in that time period. You notice it, subtly, but when you look at pictures it’s night and day. My little man is growing up too fast!
Until next time, KC
He confirmed that I have bilateral papilledema – which is swelling of the optic nerves in both eyes. That being said, he said that he didn’t want to go forth with the ONSF surgery unless my neurosurgeon thought it necessary. You see, the ONSF has a 50/50 success rate and for some people it helps – but for some it does nothing. In Dr. Harrington’s opinion, if Dr. Coimbra deems it necessary for a shunt (which he believes he will) then the shunt will fix the papilledema and there’s no need for two procedures. Can you say YAY!?
So tomorrow I meet with my neurosurgeon, Dr. Coimbra at 10am. Hopefully this will be one of the last appointments I have to endure for a good while. I’m still having daily headaches and my vision seems to be getting worse, if that’s possible.
On a better note, this past Monday was my husband’s 26th birthday and we celebrated by spending the day at the Fort Worth Zoo. Last year we took LB for his 2nd birthday and it was amazing to us to see how much he’s changed in that time period. You notice it, subtly, but when you look at pictures it’s night and day. My little man is growing up too fast!
Until next time, KC
Apr 8, 2010
Playing Catch-Up
I’ve been a bad blogger this week. There has been so much going on and I just haven’t had the time or the energy to get it out, so here goes.
Last Thursday, on the wonderful April Fool’s day, I had my second lumbar puncture done. Going in I didn’t have too bad of a headache but I was very anxious to get it done and have three glorious days like I did the first time. However my body had other plans, apparently. Waking up from the anesthesia was a lot more difficult and I really felt drugged, not to mention that my headache was WORSE! My opening pressure was also higher this time at 390mm/H20 and so my best guess is that my body was adjusting to having so much spinal fluid taken out. When we got home I actually took a really great nap, about four hours and I think it was because I got to sleep on my side this time. The nurse said that as long as I kept my legs straight and put a pillow between them I’d be fine so I did and it made a tremendous difference.
When I woke up Friday morning I was fully anticipating no headache but I was sadly mistaken as it was worse than Thursday. Hoping that it was a spinal headache I spent most of the day in the bed but laying down didn’t seem to help; I was also suffering from what I assumed to be sinus/allergies and though that could be the cause of the headache so I took Sudafed all day. Nothing helped! When the doctor called to check on me she suggested I drink all the caffeine that I could but since we don’t keep it in the house I was screwed and had to wait on Brent to get home to bring me some. My mother kindly reminded me that I could drink coffee so I made a whole pot, added sugar and cream and put it in the fridge – managing to consume two quarts of coffee in 24 hours.
Saturday morning was still worse and to top it off the mild fever I’d run all Friday night was creeping up which made me pretty nervous. Tired of being cooped up in the house I ventured out to Wal-Mart in the morning and got stuff for Easter but it really wore me out. After I got home I sat on the couch and colored three dozen eggs and watched Discovery Health all day, feeling worse by the minute. After Brent got home we decided to go back to Wal-Mart for some Tylenol as my fever was up to 100.9 at this point and if it hit 101 I was to call the doctor – and I didn’t want that. I was really hopeful that I would feel better Sunday morning because I wanted so badly to go to the Easter service at church, and I had a ton of cooking and places to visit. Brent put his foot down though, and said he wouldn’t wake me up to go and if I woke up on my own we’d do our thing.
I woke up at 10:00am – church started at 9:30am. So much for that. I still felt like crap and was trying Sudafed Sinus/Allergy as well as prescription decongestants because I could NOT breathe out the right side of my nose if I sat down; I was fine standing but as soon as I sat all bets were off. Brent had put a lovely brisket on the smoker the night before and so I got up, showered and started cooking for his parent’s house. We left for my Dad’s house about 1:15pm and had a great time with family and enjoyed awesome food. My new baby cousin Landon stole my heart with his Eskimo hair and I just wanted to gobble him up! We both realized how much we still want a baby and thoroughly enjoyed playing with little Landon. After that we went to Brent’s parent’s house and ate even more food and watched The Blind Side – what an amazing movie! We didn’t get home until after 10:30pm Sunday and I was exhausted.
I didn’t have a headache Monday or Tuesday, just pains, but it was back on Wednesday. We broke down and bought a ceiling fan on Monday and Brent and I installed it – twice – and have been so happy to have it as we like our bedroom cold. Tuesday I called Dr. Herzog’s office asking for the name of the neurosurgeon I was to be referred to and found it would be Dr. Caetano Coimbra. Can’t find much information on him but they should be calling by Friday to schedule my appointment with him and I am very excited.
So that’s pretty much it. My headache is back in full swing, Wednesday sucked royally and Thursday is headed that way too. I am so tired of waking up feeling like I got hit by a truck, I just don’t know how to fix it. Sleeping has been a real challenge since this LP because my back is still numb; it doesn’t hurt exactly, but it feels like someone is pushing really hard against that expanse of my back and it’s very uncomfortable.
For the good news: LB will be here Sunday! This week will start our two weeks on / two weeks off routine. We will exchange him every other Sunday so that our time will be shared equally and we can see him as much as possible until he starts school. I can’t even begin to explain how excited we are about this. Monday is my husband’s birthday and so we are taking the day off and spending it at the zoo – weather permitting, since now it’s supposed to rain. Plus, it’ll be a treat for LB since he’s having to have another CBC done that morning and will most likely hate me for a while.
It occurred to me that I have failed miserably on the promise of posting pictures so I need to get on that. Maybe I’ll figure out how to post an extra tab with just pictures.
Until next time, KC
Last Thursday, on the wonderful April Fool’s day, I had my second lumbar puncture done. Going in I didn’t have too bad of a headache but I was very anxious to get it done and have three glorious days like I did the first time. However my body had other plans, apparently. Waking up from the anesthesia was a lot more difficult and I really felt drugged, not to mention that my headache was WORSE! My opening pressure was also higher this time at 390mm/H20 and so my best guess is that my body was adjusting to having so much spinal fluid taken out. When we got home I actually took a really great nap, about four hours and I think it was because I got to sleep on my side this time. The nurse said that as long as I kept my legs straight and put a pillow between them I’d be fine so I did and it made a tremendous difference.
When I woke up Friday morning I was fully anticipating no headache but I was sadly mistaken as it was worse than Thursday. Hoping that it was a spinal headache I spent most of the day in the bed but laying down didn’t seem to help; I was also suffering from what I assumed to be sinus/allergies and though that could be the cause of the headache so I took Sudafed all day. Nothing helped! When the doctor called to check on me she suggested I drink all the caffeine that I could but since we don’t keep it in the house I was screwed and had to wait on Brent to get home to bring me some. My mother kindly reminded me that I could drink coffee so I made a whole pot, added sugar and cream and put it in the fridge – managing to consume two quarts of coffee in 24 hours.
Saturday morning was still worse and to top it off the mild fever I’d run all Friday night was creeping up which made me pretty nervous. Tired of being cooped up in the house I ventured out to Wal-Mart in the morning and got stuff for Easter but it really wore me out. After I got home I sat on the couch and colored three dozen eggs and watched Discovery Health all day, feeling worse by the minute. After Brent got home we decided to go back to Wal-Mart for some Tylenol as my fever was up to 100.9 at this point and if it hit 101 I was to call the doctor – and I didn’t want that. I was really hopeful that I would feel better Sunday morning because I wanted so badly to go to the Easter service at church, and I had a ton of cooking and places to visit. Brent put his foot down though, and said he wouldn’t wake me up to go and if I woke up on my own we’d do our thing.
I woke up at 10:00am – church started at 9:30am. So much for that. I still felt like crap and was trying Sudafed Sinus/Allergy as well as prescription decongestants because I could NOT breathe out the right side of my nose if I sat down; I was fine standing but as soon as I sat all bets were off. Brent had put a lovely brisket on the smoker the night before and so I got up, showered and started cooking for his parent’s house. We left for my Dad’s house about 1:15pm and had a great time with family and enjoyed awesome food. My new baby cousin Landon stole my heart with his Eskimo hair and I just wanted to gobble him up! We both realized how much we still want a baby and thoroughly enjoyed playing with little Landon. After that we went to Brent’s parent’s house and ate even more food and watched The Blind Side – what an amazing movie! We didn’t get home until after 10:30pm Sunday and I was exhausted.
I didn’t have a headache Monday or Tuesday, just pains, but it was back on Wednesday. We broke down and bought a ceiling fan on Monday and Brent and I installed it – twice – and have been so happy to have it as we like our bedroom cold. Tuesday I called Dr. Herzog’s office asking for the name of the neurosurgeon I was to be referred to and found it would be Dr. Caetano Coimbra. Can’t find much information on him but they should be calling by Friday to schedule my appointment with him and I am very excited.
So that’s pretty much it. My headache is back in full swing, Wednesday sucked royally and Thursday is headed that way too. I am so tired of waking up feeling like I got hit by a truck, I just don’t know how to fix it. Sleeping has been a real challenge since this LP because my back is still numb; it doesn’t hurt exactly, but it feels like someone is pushing really hard against that expanse of my back and it’s very uncomfortable.
For the good news: LB will be here Sunday! This week will start our two weeks on / two weeks off routine. We will exchange him every other Sunday so that our time will be shared equally and we can see him as much as possible until he starts school. I can’t even begin to explain how excited we are about this. Monday is my husband’s birthday and so we are taking the day off and spending it at the zoo – weather permitting, since now it’s supposed to rain. Plus, it’ll be a treat for LB since he’s having to have another CBC done that morning and will most likely hate me for a while.
It occurred to me that I have failed miserably on the promise of posting pictures so I need to get on that. Maybe I’ll figure out how to post an extra tab with just pictures.
Until next time, KC
Feb 24, 2010
Happy Birthday Buddy!
Yesterday was Lil B's 3rd birthday. We honestly didn't do a whole lot of celebrating since we had his party on Saturday where about 30 people came and played and partied it up at Bonkers. LB got tons of cool new toys and got sugared up for a good while. It was my first foray into party planning and I'd like to think I did okay, despite the fact that Brent and I were both sick. There are tons of pictures but of course they're on my other computer, as usual. If I remember I'll post some here.
Work has kept me so busy I have no time to post, so I thought I'd sneak in a little piece for now. I have to promise myself I'll keep this up.
Love, KC
Work has kept me so busy I have no time to post, so I thought I'd sneak in a little piece for now. I have to promise myself I'll keep this up.
Love, KC
Feb 9, 2010
Have You Seen It?
My inspiration, that is. I seem to have lost it somewhere. Every time I think to myself, "Ooh! I need to write!" I'm busy doing something else and by the time I sit down I have no idea what I was going to write about. My husband says that he does this to me, letting his ADD rub off on me and distracting me at the most inopportune times. With this, I have to agree. :-)
The kiddo will be back on Sunday, Valentine's Day, and we can't wait. It seems like forever since we've seen or talked to him. Trying to plan a date with your husband and then another with your son can be a lot of fun, so let's hope I come up with something good. LB is turning three in just a couple of weeks now and we're celebrating with a big party next weekend.
Which reminds me, I must get to planning.
Love, KC
The kiddo will be back on Sunday, Valentine's Day, and we can't wait. It seems like forever since we've seen or talked to him. Trying to plan a date with your husband and then another with your son can be a lot of fun, so let's hope I come up with something good. LB is turning three in just a couple of weeks now and we're celebrating with a big party next weekend.
Which reminds me, I must get to planning.
Love, KC
Feb 1, 2010
Intro to 2010
It's February 1st and unfortunately this is my first post of 2010. Eeek! So much for my NY resolution of blogging more frequently. Let's just chalk it up to -
a) LB's extended visit
b) our wedding and
c) enjoying extended bliss minus working too much.
I'll start with a. We could not have been more thrilled to have LB for the length of time that we did. Even amidst the chaos there was such unmatched joy. I really enjoy being a parent and the time I do get to spend home with him makes me want to stay home more, so it's a constant struggle of balance. Sunday's have always been my favorite day of the week, mostly because it's the only day I don't work and I just stay home and clean and enjoy my house. But when LB was here it was so different, we'd spend our mornings in the kitchen cooking together and just enjoying our one-on-one time. I have some great pictures I'll post later.
As for b, well we are finally married and as anticipated, things haven't really changed - other than my last name. Oh and we make more money thanks to the wonderful tax brackets. Our wedding day was bittersweet, because as soon as we were finished we had to make the 4 hour drive to meet LB's mom in Oklahoma. He was excited to see her and we were just anxious to get on the road and not think about him not being with us. It's very hard and getting harder to exchange him after only a week. We feel as if we're missing so many important milestones in his life and there's just no cure for that. We've openly discussed moving to Kansas City so that we could be with him more often, but his mother tends to be on the unpredictable side so we can't follow her around the country.
And finally, c - extended wedded bliss. In lieu of spending money on traveling someplace far and away, we opted to stay in. Neither of us have spent any decent time home doing nothing and with three dogs it just seemed right. The honeymoon mostly took away the pain of LB being gone, except for when Stormy would look for him around the house and cry. That breaks us both. She still looks for him and doesn't want to leave his room if she gets in there.
So yeah, that's the extent of our month in a nutshell. We have a lot of things coming up in February - Valentine's Day, LB coming and having his 3rd birthday party and so much more. Can't believe my little buddy is going to be three. Last night we watched some home videos of last Valentine's Day, and he's grown so much. Makes me miss the little one who couldn't talk back so much. :-)
I'm going to try my best to write more often. Tell life to give me a 15 minute break every few days.
Looking forward to the future ahead,
KC
a) LB's extended visit
b) our wedding and
c) enjoying extended bliss minus working too much.
I'll start with a. We could not have been more thrilled to have LB for the length of time that we did. Even amidst the chaos there was such unmatched joy. I really enjoy being a parent and the time I do get to spend home with him makes me want to stay home more, so it's a constant struggle of balance. Sunday's have always been my favorite day of the week, mostly because it's the only day I don't work and I just stay home and clean and enjoy my house. But when LB was here it was so different, we'd spend our mornings in the kitchen cooking together and just enjoying our one-on-one time. I have some great pictures I'll post later.
As for b, well we are finally married and as anticipated, things haven't really changed - other than my last name. Oh and we make more money thanks to the wonderful tax brackets. Our wedding day was bittersweet, because as soon as we were finished we had to make the 4 hour drive to meet LB's mom in Oklahoma. He was excited to see her and we were just anxious to get on the road and not think about him not being with us. It's very hard and getting harder to exchange him after only a week. We feel as if we're missing so many important milestones in his life and there's just no cure for that. We've openly discussed moving to Kansas City so that we could be with him more often, but his mother tends to be on the unpredictable side so we can't follow her around the country.
And finally, c - extended wedded bliss. In lieu of spending money on traveling someplace far and away, we opted to stay in. Neither of us have spent any decent time home doing nothing and with three dogs it just seemed right. The honeymoon mostly took away the pain of LB being gone, except for when Stormy would look for him around the house and cry. That breaks us both. She still looks for him and doesn't want to leave his room if she gets in there.
So yeah, that's the extent of our month in a nutshell. We have a lot of things coming up in February - Valentine's Day, LB coming and having his 3rd birthday party and so much more. Can't believe my little buddy is going to be three. Last night we watched some home videos of last Valentine's Day, and he's grown so much. Makes me miss the little one who couldn't talk back so much. :-)
I'm going to try my best to write more often. Tell life to give me a 15 minute break every few days.
Looking forward to the future ahead,
KC
Dec 31, 2009
Last Post of the Year
I've been blog-lazy for the last couple of weeks that LB has been here. There has been SOOOOOOO much going on that I really haven't had time to stop and think, which is probably a good thing. However, I have taken about 500+ pictures with the new Canon Rebel XS that my wonderful parents got me for Christmas so hopefully I can put some of those up soon.
Did I happen to mention that LB is still here? Yup, he will be here until our wedding on the 18th. Which is officially 19 days away. We're getting married in less than three weeks!! We have so thoroughly enjoyed this extended stay and we're both sad knowing that it is coming to an end. Having LB here has been great to keep my focus off of getting pregnant and on to what really matters.
Speaking of getting pregnant, no, we're not yet. The window ends in February and then can resume in May so I'm really just taking it one day at a time. I've learned a lot about myself and about Brent since this process started and I am so thankful for him every day for helping me through this. When they say it's possible to fall in love with someone more every day, trust me, it's possible. I look at that man and thank God every day for bringing him into my life.
For now, that's about all the reflection I can muster. It's been a wonderfully crazy year and I look forward to the decades ahead with my little family.
Love, KC
Did I happen to mention that LB is still here? Yup, he will be here until our wedding on the 18th. Which is officially 19 days away. We're getting married in less than three weeks!! We have so thoroughly enjoyed this extended stay and we're both sad knowing that it is coming to an end. Having LB here has been great to keep my focus off of getting pregnant and on to what really matters.
Speaking of getting pregnant, no, we're not yet. The window ends in February and then can resume in May so I'm really just taking it one day at a time. I've learned a lot about myself and about Brent since this process started and I am so thankful for him every day for helping me through this. When they say it's possible to fall in love with someone more every day, trust me, it's possible. I look at that man and thank God every day for bringing him into my life.
For now, that's about all the reflection I can muster. It's been a wonderfully crazy year and I look forward to the decades ahead with my little family.
Love, KC
Dec 16, 2009
LB is Coming!!
So I just thought I'd share some AWESOME news in regards to LB's visit today:
His mom is allowing him to stay with us until the wedding on January 18th. That is 4 1/2 weeks!! We are thrilled and are making a ton of plans.
Brent is on his way to Oklahoma to get him right now, so we should start having picture updates soon. :-))
Love, Kc
His mom is allowing him to stay with us until the wedding on January 18th. That is 4 1/2 weeks!! We are thrilled and are making a ton of plans.
Brent is on his way to Oklahoma to get him right now, so we should start having picture updates soon. :-))
Love, Kc
Dec 15, 2009
The Time has Come - and a new addition . . .
I've been running like a madwoman trying to get things in order before tomorrow - LB will be here FINALLY!! Brent is leaving at 9am so hopefully they'll be home shortly after I get off work. I'm so very excited to see him and share in this holiday with our new family.
Because I consider myself to be an awesome almost-wife, I caved and bought Brent one of the things he's been asking for for months, and gave it to him on Saturday night. He was shocked, and now we're trying to settle in to the routine of having a baby in the house again.
Meet Stormy LaRue - part Siberian Husky, part German Shepherd - and the new love of Brent's life. :-))
Love, KC
Because I consider myself to be an awesome almost-wife, I caved and bought Brent one of the things he's been asking for for months, and gave it to him on Saturday night. He was shocked, and now we're trying to settle in to the routine of having a baby in the house again.
Meet Stormy LaRue - part Siberian Husky, part German Shepherd - and the new love of Brent's life. :-))
Love, KC
Dec 3, 2009
LB & Santa
Just a quick post. LB's mom took him to visit Santa in Kansas City, and was kind enough to share a picture. We will have his pictures done here as well to share with this side of the family when he comes in a couple of weeks. Can't wait to see our boy!
Love, KC
Love, KC
Nov 19, 2009
From the Beginning . . .
We met on eHarmony, and no I’m not in any way ashamed to admit that. I will admit that I initially signed up for two reasons: boredom being number one, but number two being that I was hoping to meet a different caliber of men than I’d been spending the majority of my time with. I had set standards: at least 27 years old, at least 6’ tall, and NO kids. I did not want the baggage that came along with a possible ex-wife/ex-girlfriend and Lord knows I get attached to kiddos way too easily. So if anyone came along that did not meet my criteria, I immediately closed the match, regardless of what their profile said. That was until January 3, 2009, when I was matched with him. Honestly, I intended to close him. I really did. But I kept going back to this picture.
This picture was the first thing I saw when I opened his profile, and I couldn’t help but smile. There is something about it that just showed immense joy and love from this man and his son and even though he failed all of my demands, I couldn’t close him out. So I waited for three days, and sent my first round of questions. And to this day, I feel like I lost three days with him somewhere in there.
Those eHarmony commercials, as corny as they are, are real. From my experience I truly believe that. I was on that site for less than a week when we were matched, and we could both swear to you that we were destined to be together. We ARE that corny couple and we proudly wear that badge. Through an unfortunate set of circumstances - my having severe pneumonia and him having the flu - we were able to spend over two weeks just talking to one another. And talk we did! I’ve never talked to someone so much, and we still don’t shut up (just ask our families). This, I believe, helped to build the strong foundation of our relationship, how openly and honestly we communicate with each other about everything.
I remember one night, probably during week two, he asked me to marry him four times in one conversation. All over food, I do believe (which I still contend is a primary reason he’s marrying me). I don’t think there was ever a doubt in either of our minds even at that point where this was headed. But amongst our earliest of conversations were children. Did I mind that he had a child? What were his thoughts on more children? In no time we were pretty set on 3-5 kids, and I was excitedly freaked out about LB. How, in such short order, had I found my other half – and a baby?
What I’d written above was supposed to be my introductory blog. The entire purpose of setting up the blog in the first place was to capture our journey of making our family. I’m not sure why I never finished it or much less posted it, but I found it today and wanted to try and finish it. It was originally started on 6/11/09, just over five months ago. Not much has changed, and at the same time so much HAS changed.
We still don’t shut up. Every opportunity we have to talk to one another we greedily seize and try to cram as much into that two or three minutes that we can. It’s increasingly difficult since Brent was promoted to store director in September, but we do the best we can.
We are more madly in love with one another than we were yesterday, or the day before. Every day our love grows in such a manner that it leaves me speechless, incredibly blessed and anxious for more. Never in my wildest dreams did I think it was possible to love someone so completely, for everything that they are and everything that they’re not. It’s hard to express this in a way that can wholly encompass those emotions, so instead we mainly smile at one another with a knowing that we wish others could experience.
Our wedding is in 60 days, one year to the day of our first date, and we have done nothing to prepare other than toss around a few things we’d like to do. We have no intention of having anything that really resembles a wedding, actually. All that we need is a minister, LB, our parents and his siblings, and my best friend. That is eleven people, and I’d be perfectly happy having it in someone’s living room. While there are no immediate plans for a honeymoon (thanks to my job) we will definitely spend a week doing something during the summer.
Lastly, our three-year baby plan went out the window within three weeks in our new house. We’ve been trying to conceive since then, with no luck yet, and trying to not be discouraged. I fully realize these things take time and therefore I’m just not going to worry about it anymore. Both of us will be utterly delighted to have a baby when the time comes, but for now we do good just to keep ourselves from going insane.
As with every couple, we sometimes have issues. While I’m a complete neat freak and like things to be extra organized, he is my polar opposite and that can sometimes create frustration on my part. For the most part, the fact that he has ADD never occurs to me except when he can’t complete a task, and I have to remind myself that I’ve never been in his shoes and not everyone is as anal retentive as I am about all of the lights being off in the house before you leave.
As you’ve read, LB is growing bigger every time we see him. He was only 23 months old when we started dating, tiny as could be and precious. Now he’s going to be three in a couple of months and he’s a different kid. The terrible twos have been rough but we’ve survived with our humor intact, mostly because of the insanely cute things he does. I asked him the last time he was here if he wanted a little sister, to which I got a “NO!!”, while Daddy asked if he wanted a brother and he said, “YES!!” I’m hoping he warms to the idea; I think he’ll be a great big brother.
Thankfully I had the foresight to pull off mine and Brent’s entire email communication from our first week of “talking” before my membership to eHarmony expired. To go back and read them now is so funny, and remarkably true to how we are. Hopefully I can put them in our scrapbook.
Until next time. . .
Love, KC
Nov 16, 2009
LB's November Adventures
LB went home yesterday. We are sad. The End.
So not really, but that's the gist of how we feel. Last week was one of the longest and shortest weeks ever. Between LB being sick and spending Monday morning in the Cook's Children's ER, to all of the crazy things going on in both mine and Brent's work lives, we sort of awoke this morning wondering what happened. It's as if he was here and then he wasn't, and we don't have just a whole lot to show for it.
Let me start with last Sunday, when we picked him up. He had a horrible cough, that his mother said he'd had since the Wednesday prior but she wasn't concerned about. We had not gotten more than 20 minutes from our drop point - Guthrie, OK to be exact - when he started coughing so hard that he threw up. I was officially scared. Cue the iPhone for the nearest pharmacy and we were in downtown Guthrie looking for a cough suppressant. There is a quaint little pizza joint there so we sat down, ate, and let LB watch some Nascar while we set him up with a breathing treatment. He slept fairly well on the way home but was absolutely miserable, and by the time we finally put him to bed we all were. I wrestled with taking him to Cook's that night, but really hoped he'd wake up better Monday.
No such luck. He woke up at 2:15am on Monday, crawled into our bed, and didn't go back to sleep until almost 5am. By that time I had to get up and get ready for work, and run and drop my car off at the shop and pick up my rental. Brent called about ten minutes until 8am and LB was not doing any better. We'd heard him wheezing all night long through the monitor and it wasn't subsiding with the breathing treatments. After calls to two different doctors, they told me to take him straight to Cook's. Some steroids and two breathing treatments later, we were sent home with an ear infection and aggravated asthma and instructed to do more steroids and six treatments a day for the next four days.
Through all of this LB did amazingly well. Despite his crankiness and inability to breathe he was in fairly good spirits. He took the treatments like a champ and gradually got better. We had one more night of ups, on Monday, when he woke up at 11:45pm and then again at 5am. After that he slept every night. He and I shopped a lot, bought a few items for Christmas - including a Lightning McQueen stocking - a new jogging stroller, a guitar with a cool intro to Whole Lotta Love, and some ornaments. We made homemade playdough, with me finally just giving him a cup of flour and a whisk and letting him go at it.
Our highlight was Saturday, when we attended the high school football playoffs at the new Cowboys Stadium. Brent's dad is a coach and his team made playoffs this year, so we sat through almost two games. LB was mesmerized. Kid loves football, and between that, his natural ability at all things sports and music we might have a prodigy on our hands.
So yes, LB is gone and we are sad, but the good news is that he'll be back in 4 1/2 weeks for Christmas and will be here for two full weeks. We're already counting down the days.
Love, KC
So not really, but that's the gist of how we feel. Last week was one of the longest and shortest weeks ever. Between LB being sick and spending Monday morning in the Cook's Children's ER, to all of the crazy things going on in both mine and Brent's work lives, we sort of awoke this morning wondering what happened. It's as if he was here and then he wasn't, and we don't have just a whole lot to show for it.
Let me start with last Sunday, when we picked him up. He had a horrible cough, that his mother said he'd had since the Wednesday prior but she wasn't concerned about. We had not gotten more than 20 minutes from our drop point - Guthrie, OK to be exact - when he started coughing so hard that he threw up. I was officially scared. Cue the iPhone for the nearest pharmacy and we were in downtown Guthrie looking for a cough suppressant. There is a quaint little pizza joint there so we sat down, ate, and let LB watch some Nascar while we set him up with a breathing treatment. He slept fairly well on the way home but was absolutely miserable, and by the time we finally put him to bed we all were. I wrestled with taking him to Cook's that night, but really hoped he'd wake up better Monday.
No such luck. He woke up at 2:15am on Monday, crawled into our bed, and didn't go back to sleep until almost 5am. By that time I had to get up and get ready for work, and run and drop my car off at the shop and pick up my rental. Brent called about ten minutes until 8am and LB was not doing any better. We'd heard him wheezing all night long through the monitor and it wasn't subsiding with the breathing treatments. After calls to two different doctors, they told me to take him straight to Cook's. Some steroids and two breathing treatments later, we were sent home with an ear infection and aggravated asthma and instructed to do more steroids and six treatments a day for the next four days.
Through all of this LB did amazingly well. Despite his crankiness and inability to breathe he was in fairly good spirits. He took the treatments like a champ and gradually got better. We had one more night of ups, on Monday, when he woke up at 11:45pm and then again at 5am. After that he slept every night. He and I shopped a lot, bought a few items for Christmas - including a Lightning McQueen stocking - a new jogging stroller, a guitar with a cool intro to Whole Lotta Love, and some ornaments. We made homemade playdough, with me finally just giving him a cup of flour and a whisk and letting him go at it.
Our highlight was Saturday, when we attended the high school football playoffs at the new Cowboys Stadium. Brent's dad is a coach and his team made playoffs this year, so we sat through almost two games. LB was mesmerized. Kid loves football, and between that, his natural ability at all things sports and music we might have a prodigy on our hands.
So yes, LB is gone and we are sad, but the good news is that he'll be back in 4 1/2 weeks for Christmas and will be here for two full weeks. We're already counting down the days.
Love, KC
Oct 7, 2009
It's Official!!
Well, after months of waiting . . . WE'RE ENGAGED!! Yup, finally happened. Of course it was never a question of IF it was going to happen, simply WHEN.
Brent picked a fight with me the day before about it, trying to throw me off he said, and I was really heated all day. It was my Mom's birthday, and I needed to go buy her a present and since I was forbidden to enter my own house, what better opportunity to shop??
I arrived home around 5:45pm to dimmed lights and Brent dressed up, with cologne on. Like that wasn't supposed to raise my suspicions. I assumed he was just trying to make up for being so mean to me all day and went about sulking while he cooked dinner. Braeden hadn't had a nap that day so he'd managed to get him to sleep on the way home, and that kid slept until 6pm. He was cranky when he got up, but crawled up in my lap and we slept for another half hour.
Dinner was served and I was still feeling pityful. We'd all been sick for the last week so that didn't help matters much. Brent cooked some amazing chicken and green beans on the grill, one of my favorites. When we were finished I was told to wait at the table with my eyes closed, while LB got me a "surprise". I heard him say my "Marry Surprise" and couldn't help but grin.
LB came running to the table saying, "Here Kirbe!" and Brent qued up his favorite song for me, Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts, as Braeden handed me a ring. It was awesome. I opened my eyes and saw this:
Brent picked a fight with me the day before about it, trying to throw me off he said, and I was really heated all day. It was my Mom's birthday, and I needed to go buy her a present and since I was forbidden to enter my own house, what better opportunity to shop??
I arrived home around 5:45pm to dimmed lights and Brent dressed up, with cologne on. Like that wasn't supposed to raise my suspicions. I assumed he was just trying to make up for being so mean to me all day and went about sulking while he cooked dinner. Braeden hadn't had a nap that day so he'd managed to get him to sleep on the way home, and that kid slept until 6pm. He was cranky when he got up, but crawled up in my lap and we slept for another half hour.
Dinner was served and I was still feeling pityful. We'd all been sick for the last week so that didn't help matters much. Brent cooked some amazing chicken and green beans on the grill, one of my favorites. When we were finished I was told to wait at the table with my eyes closed, while LB got me a "surprise". I heard him say my "Marry Surprise" and couldn't help but grin.
LB came running to the table saying, "Here Kirbe!" and Brent qued up his favorite song for me, Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts, as Braeden handed me a ring. It was awesome. I opened my eyes and saw this:
How can you say no to that? Of course I didn't! Brent got down on one knee and said some really sweet, sappy things that I'll keep between us. I was overjoyed, and couldn't wait to share with everyone.
We've picked January 18, 2010 as the date - one year to the day of our first real date. Now the planning begins!
Love, Us
Oct 4, 2009
27th Annual James Gang Family Reunion
Just a quick post about family reunion this year . . .
It was Brent and Braeden's first introduction to most of my family - as well as the added pressure of being Family President. We decided to provide BBQ for Friday night and spent nearly 36 hours smoking meat beforehand. A whopping 35 pounds of brisket and pulled pork. Everyone loved it and Brent was a hero.
Being President was much easier than I thought it would be. All in all I just made sure we ate on time, said grace before meals and conducted the meeting on Saturday. My cousin Chad and his wife Nichole get the honor for next year.
Braeden had an absolute blast! I wish I would have taken pictures but there was just too much going on. That child stayed dirty from the time we arrived until his bath Saturday night - and only then because it flooded overnight and we had to leave early Sunday. I'm so glad he got to spend so much time just being TWO, and being a boy and just being free. It's something I've realized as I've gotten older that I really took for granted as a child.
Even though we made for an early departure Sunday morning, it was wonderful to see my family again. It's the only time I see most of them, except for my Dad's brothers and their families. It was especially great to see my cousin David Wayne, who I haven't seen in almost ten years - and who hasn't changed one bit.
Til next year . . .
Love, Me
It was Brent and Braeden's first introduction to most of my family - as well as the added pressure of being Family President. We decided to provide BBQ for Friday night and spent nearly 36 hours smoking meat beforehand. A whopping 35 pounds of brisket and pulled pork. Everyone loved it and Brent was a hero.
Being President was much easier than I thought it would be. All in all I just made sure we ate on time, said grace before meals and conducted the meeting on Saturday. My cousin Chad and his wife Nichole get the honor for next year.
Braeden had an absolute blast! I wish I would have taken pictures but there was just too much going on. That child stayed dirty from the time we arrived until his bath Saturday night - and only then because it flooded overnight and we had to leave early Sunday. I'm so glad he got to spend so much time just being TWO, and being a boy and just being free. It's something I've realized as I've gotten older that I really took for granted as a child.
Even though we made for an early departure Sunday morning, it was wonderful to see my family again. It's the only time I see most of them, except for my Dad's brothers and their families. It was especially great to see my cousin David Wayne, who I haven't seen in almost ten years - and who hasn't changed one bit.
Til next year . . .
Love, Me
Sep 8, 2009
Jumping on the Train
At some point I realized that I was intentionally not writing anymore, not because there was nothing to write about, but because there was new, exciting news that I badly wanted to share but not in a public forum. Then it occurred to me that no one read anyway so I may as well put it out there.
Brent and I have always talked about having babies, how we want five or six children and would love if they were all boys – but hopefully one little girl, otherwise I may have a boy with painted toenails. We’ve gone as far as picking out nearly all of the names and the order in which they will be named. Obsessed? Maybe. But it’s just a testament to how sure we are about this life we’re living, and how anxious we are to start our family. Even so, we had agreed very early on to a three year plan: married after a year (even though we probably would have been married shortly after our second date had it been up to us), and babies after three years. By that point LB would be five and we would have had sufficient time to ourselves.
I’m not quite sure when this plan changed. I think it was gradual, that I woke up one day and realized I was turning 25 soon, and all of the women in my family had their first child at 25. That I have close friends who are pregnant and it increases a mother’s want ten-fold. I had lunch with my dear friend Amanda, who after years of trying is finally pregnant with their first son to be born in October. During the course of conversation she assured me many times that all of her friends who wanted to become pregnant had done just that within a month of her pregnancy. Somewhere in that logic the real reason hit me: what if it takes me that long to have a baby? My mother tried for seven years to have me, and had all but given up hope when I became the miracle baby. It terrifies me to think that I could have the same issues, and if I did, why didn’t I start trying sooner? My choice of career all but dictates that I cannot have a child between the time frame of approximately November 15th and March 1st, because that is the busiest time of year for me and well, I’m the only one who does my job.
So the following weekend, on Sunday night, I was putting a new pack of pills in the case and Brent and I were discussing how if we wanted to get pregnant, it had to be in three month intervals, because that’s how often my medicine came in. We laughed and then Brent said something that caught me off guard.
“We could try now?”
Now, as much as I’d been thinking of this very thing, I never thought he’d come out and say it. We spent two hours sitting in the bed, talking, crying, discussing our concerns; all the while I held my little pink pill in my fingertips. At the end of the night we were okay, but I knew that should we change our mind on Monday, we’d still be okay. He was convinced I’d get pregnant right away, but I was not quite as sure. I was miserably sick for the first week, mostly from fear of this life-changing decision we were making, but little by little, day by day, the fear turned to excitement. This would have been MUCH easier had we just “accidently” gotten pregnant. So we went about our normal routine, with an air of anticipation between us, and talked excitedly about what was to be.
During this, I explained to Brent how there were certain things that I really believed in and wanted in my pregnancy experience. I hope to be able to breastfeed, as much for the cost saving benefits as the fact that it’s what’s best for the baby. He's even been scoping out the best book on the subject for me. I also want to make my own baby food, which is relatively simple and so much healthier than the jarred crap you can buy at the store. Lastly, I really want to cloth diaper. Eyebrows raised at this notion, but once I explained why I wanted to do it, we were quickly all onboard. Long before I ever truly considered pregnancy and found Pacing the Panic Room, I had come across a link for these cool cloth diapers called "Fuzzibunz" on a popular baby blog. Sitting at work I was so engrossed in the website that probably an hour passed before I realized that I had read every page and researched where I could buy this amazing product. You see, LB was only 23 months old when we met and still being diapered. He had horrible diaper rash and we spent a ton of money on disposables – and he was only here a week a month. I vowed then and there, that because I knew I’d never be able to move him to cloth and have his mother go along, that with my babies I would put them in nothing but cloth. My mother even grimaced at this, like many thinking back to the folding and pinning of cloth diapers of yesteryear, but once I showed her the site even she was impressed. How could you not be? No rashes, easy cleanup, better for the environment, and babies who are cloth diapered are even said to potty train quicker (our latest struggle with LB). My want for this all but doubled when I realized that the folks from PtPR were doing this exact thing, and to hear their stories was really encouraging.
With all of our thoughts and concerns laid out on the table, we decided to go ahead and jump on the baby train. So here we are, about 2 ½ weeks into the process, and both anxiously awaiting the next few days to see what happens. Brent seems to think I’m already pregnant; I need concrete proof. He says my crankiness and irritability should be proof enough, since I am never like this. We shall see, can’t wait to find out!
Love, KC
Brent and I have always talked about having babies, how we want five or six children and would love if they were all boys – but hopefully one little girl, otherwise I may have a boy with painted toenails. We’ve gone as far as picking out nearly all of the names and the order in which they will be named. Obsessed? Maybe. But it’s just a testament to how sure we are about this life we’re living, and how anxious we are to start our family. Even so, we had agreed very early on to a three year plan: married after a year (even though we probably would have been married shortly after our second date had it been up to us), and babies after three years. By that point LB would be five and we would have had sufficient time to ourselves.
I’m not quite sure when this plan changed. I think it was gradual, that I woke up one day and realized I was turning 25 soon, and all of the women in my family had their first child at 25. That I have close friends who are pregnant and it increases a mother’s want ten-fold. I had lunch with my dear friend Amanda, who after years of trying is finally pregnant with their first son to be born in October. During the course of conversation she assured me many times that all of her friends who wanted to become pregnant had done just that within a month of her pregnancy. Somewhere in that logic the real reason hit me: what if it takes me that long to have a baby? My mother tried for seven years to have me, and had all but given up hope when I became the miracle baby. It terrifies me to think that I could have the same issues, and if I did, why didn’t I start trying sooner? My choice of career all but dictates that I cannot have a child between the time frame of approximately November 15th and March 1st, because that is the busiest time of year for me and well, I’m the only one who does my job.
So the following weekend, on Sunday night, I was putting a new pack of pills in the case and Brent and I were discussing how if we wanted to get pregnant, it had to be in three month intervals, because that’s how often my medicine came in. We laughed and then Brent said something that caught me off guard.
“We could try now?”
Now, as much as I’d been thinking of this very thing, I never thought he’d come out and say it. We spent two hours sitting in the bed, talking, crying, discussing our concerns; all the while I held my little pink pill in my fingertips. At the end of the night we were okay, but I knew that should we change our mind on Monday, we’d still be okay. He was convinced I’d get pregnant right away, but I was not quite as sure. I was miserably sick for the first week, mostly from fear of this life-changing decision we were making, but little by little, day by day, the fear turned to excitement. This would have been MUCH easier had we just “accidently” gotten pregnant. So we went about our normal routine, with an air of anticipation between us, and talked excitedly about what was to be.
During this, I explained to Brent how there were certain things that I really believed in and wanted in my pregnancy experience. I hope to be able to breastfeed, as much for the cost saving benefits as the fact that it’s what’s best for the baby. He's even been scoping out the best book on the subject for me. I also want to make my own baby food, which is relatively simple and so much healthier than the jarred crap you can buy at the store. Lastly, I really want to cloth diaper. Eyebrows raised at this notion, but once I explained why I wanted to do it, we were quickly all onboard. Long before I ever truly considered pregnancy and found Pacing the Panic Room, I had come across a link for these cool cloth diapers called "Fuzzibunz" on a popular baby blog. Sitting at work I was so engrossed in the website that probably an hour passed before I realized that I had read every page and researched where I could buy this amazing product. You see, LB was only 23 months old when we met and still being diapered. He had horrible diaper rash and we spent a ton of money on disposables – and he was only here a week a month. I vowed then and there, that because I knew I’d never be able to move him to cloth and have his mother go along, that with my babies I would put them in nothing but cloth. My mother even grimaced at this, like many thinking back to the folding and pinning of cloth diapers of yesteryear, but once I showed her the site even she was impressed. How could you not be? No rashes, easy cleanup, better for the environment, and babies who are cloth diapered are even said to potty train quicker (our latest struggle with LB). My want for this all but doubled when I realized that the folks from PtPR were doing this exact thing, and to hear their stories was really encouraging.
With all of our thoughts and concerns laid out on the table, we decided to go ahead and jump on the baby train. So here we are, about 2 ½ weeks into the process, and both anxiously awaiting the next few days to see what happens. Brent seems to think I’m already pregnant; I need concrete proof. He says my crankiness and irritability should be proof enough, since I am never like this. We shall see, can’t wait to find out!
Love, KC
Aug 19, 2009
August
It takes a couple of days after LB leaves for life to resume a sense of normalcy, and for us to somewhat get over being sad that he’s gone again. Every single time it gets harder, and I’m waiting for the time that it gets easier, but I see no end to the pattern. I suppose that’s a good thing.
This time I’m dealing with a potentially broken foot, which happened during our move, and which I have mostly refused to treat. It wasn’t until it hurt so badly to wear shoes I decided to visit the doctor and he ordered me into the boot, which Brent insists I wear. All I have to say to that is – grrrrrrr.
At any rate, when LB came this time we had quite a bit of fun, as we always do, and embarked on some new adventures. There is a park in our new neighborhood, within walking distance, so one day Aunt Erin came over and we went and checked it out. Nicely shaded, swings, lots of things to climb on, but it was simply too hot. We only lasted about half an hour, but the kids had fun, and really that’s all that matters.
On Wednesday, we took LB to the circus. Neither Brent nor I had been since we were little kids ourselves, so we were just as excited as he was, even though he didn’t quite know what “circus” was, except that it involved elephants and other various animals. I’m not sure who had more fun – LB, or Brent and I watching him be so excited, dancing and clapping along. It just made me want to cry tears of happiness. There were motorcycles, lots of singing and dancing, and of course tigers and elephants. He stayed awake the entire time and talked about it for days.
On Saturday we decided to go play Putt-Putt golf with Papa and Gammy (my dad and stepmom) and my nephews Christopher and Brendan. Yet another thing that Brent and I haven’t done in a while, much less together, and we had an absolute blast. We tried to keep score but gave up around hole 7, as LB decided it was his mission to take over on your second putt and blast the ball to the next hole. It was adorable. Honestly, the kid’s a natural and played baseball more than golf, so I can’t wait to see what he does.
This time I’m dealing with a potentially broken foot, which happened during our move, and which I have mostly refused to treat. It wasn’t until it hurt so badly to wear shoes I decided to visit the doctor and he ordered me into the boot, which Brent insists I wear. All I have to say to that is – grrrrrrr.
At any rate, when LB came this time we had quite a bit of fun, as we always do, and embarked on some new adventures. There is a park in our new neighborhood, within walking distance, so one day Aunt Erin came over and we went and checked it out. Nicely shaded, swings, lots of things to climb on, but it was simply too hot. We only lasted about half an hour, but the kids had fun, and really that’s all that matters.
On Wednesday, we took LB to the circus. Neither Brent nor I had been since we were little kids ourselves, so we were just as excited as he was, even though he didn’t quite know what “circus” was, except that it involved elephants and other various animals. I’m not sure who had more fun – LB, or Brent and I watching him be so excited, dancing and clapping along. It just made me want to cry tears of happiness. There were motorcycles, lots of singing and dancing, and of course tigers and elephants. He stayed awake the entire time and talked about it for days.
On Saturday we decided to go play Putt-Putt golf with Papa and Gammy (my dad and stepmom) and my nephews Christopher and Brendan. Yet another thing that Brent and I haven’t done in a while, much less together, and we had an absolute blast. We tried to keep score but gave up around hole 7, as LB decided it was his mission to take over on your second putt and blast the ball to the next hole. It was adorable. Honestly, the kid’s a natural and played baseball more than golf, so I can’t wait to see what he does.
Gammy took LB inside to play games while Papa, B, the boys and me rode the go-karts and then we all spent Papa’s money winning tickets. In total we came away with 1800 tickets in about an hour! LB got a tambourine and immediately started singing “Jesus Loves Me”, which is so cute to hear him sing.
We took LB to meet his mom on Sunday, and that’s always tough for us. We hate to see him go, and it always seems like his time with us is far too short and far between. This time it really is, since he won’t be back until the end of September. But, fortunately for us, he’ll be here for two weeks then since he’s coming specifically for my family reunion.
It can’t get here soon enough.
Love, KC
Aug 4, 2009
The First Step....
In the months since I first created this blog, I've wanted to write about the journey to where we are now -- moving into our first home together. But every time I try to write it just never seems to be the right time. So this will become as good a place to start as any. :-)
We've taken the first big step, and last Friday joined our belongings and moved in together. Our first HOME. In all technicality you could probably say we've been living together since our second date, but after seven months we decided to make it official. It feels no different, except that we have more space and a whole lot of crap to sort through. I mean, how many boxes of Christmas decorations do you really need, and who needs four complete sets of dishes?? Our spare bedroom/office looks like a warzone, and LB's room is not faring so well either. We have until Saturday night to get that set up. I am most excited about him having his own room, where he can play and do his own thing. He doesn't have that anywhere.
At any rate, as we go I'll try and write more often. LB provides a myriad of stories when he's here, not to mention a great deal of pictures. I'm working with this new camera and wanting an upgrade already - Rebel anyone? - so he's a great subject. I'll get some house pictures posted when I can locate the camera in one of the office boxes.
Love, KC
**Update: I found the camera. Here is our new home - and a couple of cute pictures I've taken since we've moved in.
We've taken the first big step, and last Friday joined our belongings and moved in together. Our first HOME. In all technicality you could probably say we've been living together since our second date, but after seven months we decided to make it official. It feels no different, except that we have more space and a whole lot of crap to sort through. I mean, how many boxes of Christmas decorations do you really need, and who needs four complete sets of dishes?? Our spare bedroom/office looks like a warzone, and LB's room is not faring so well either. We have until Saturday night to get that set up. I am most excited about him having his own room, where he can play and do his own thing. He doesn't have that anywhere.
At any rate, as we go I'll try and write more often. LB provides a myriad of stories when he's here, not to mention a great deal of pictures. I'm working with this new camera and wanting an upgrade already - Rebel anyone? - so he's a great subject. I'll get some house pictures posted when I can locate the camera in one of the office boxes.
Love, KC
**Update: I found the camera. Here is our new home - and a couple of cute pictures I've taken since we've moved in.
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